June 2007
MacRamblings
Doug MacCallum '67-68
Am sitting here watching bluebirds empty tray of superior Grade A mealworms that I put out umpteen times a day so ravenous little ones can be fed. (Mealworms are kept in the fridge so if anyone wants to get into bluebird rearing, I would suggest avoiding use of any appetite-inducing substances!). I got started back in the winter after reading an article about bluebirds. Put a pole in the ground and attached a house of the type they prefer. Went to the local bank to get a mortgage for it but the bastards turned me down! Didn't stop me though as I applied for a Federal grant the next day which I expect to receive shortly. They got all kinds of money in Washington. Congress just appropriated some $238 million for the National Buffalo Dung Preserve in Pilesofit, Nebraska (not far from Norm by the way). Explains why Congress has an 11-percent approval rating! Or maybe it's because 11 percent of the population has single-digit IQs. Anyway, bluebirds were not the first to find the house - a pair of nuthatches did and built a nest. Poor things were later evicted by the bluebirds and I haven't seen them since. Didn't lay any eggs though. Bluebirds are fascinating to watch when they go after squirrels that are foolish enough to get anywhere near the nest. They dive bomb in tandem, reminding me of a couple of well-coordinated gunships. Squirrels hightail it faster than the VC!! Not sure how many little ones are in the nest but 4 or 5 are typical. Kind of strange to be a surrogate parent to that many when I've never had any kids, at least that I've ever met. I am very protective of the parents too, using a BB pistol to eliminate any threats from nasty birds. BB pistol is useful for road rage too - ever see the look on a guy's face when a copper BB is playing ping pong on his molars? Not an easy shot but all you have to do is give him the finger and he'll roll down the window and yell at you. That makes it easier. Got my first BB gun when I was about 4 years old - it was a Daisy pump action that took all my weight to cock and was actually taller than I was. Graduated to a couple of .22's and a .410 shotgun in a few years and spent summers in New Hampshire eliminating woodchucks and other vermin. I figured that everyone who became a LRRP had grown up the same way. One day at Bear Cat several of us were in a room at Division, maybe the library or day room or something like that which was relatively cool although I'm not sure it had AC. I was seated behind a desk when a couple of nerdy NCMF's (redundant?) came in, asked if we were LRRP's (our response was typical for an idiotic question - who else wore tiger suits, berets and no insignia?). Anyway Fentress told them they'd come to the right place, pointed at me and said Major Mac is the guy to talk to. I looked at the first guy and rejected him immediately as he was wearing glasses and I said that would give his position away in the jungle. He left with his head hanging. The other took longer but was also easy to reject. Turns out he'd never had a BB gun or even a Wham-O slingshot when he was growing up. Missed out on a lot of fun, especially marble fights with the Wham-O. In fact, the sorry SOB hadn't even fired a rifle until basic training. No way I'd let him join the unit. Going to give the bluebirds another treat right now for bringing back such good memories!!