When I left RVN on the 1st of October 1968 my thoughts were bittersweet. I had completed my obligation to my country and would soon be a civilian again. I had a fiance that I was looking forward to seeing again and holding her close. But, I thought of the men I was leaving behind and vowed to stay in touch. I honestly thought I would. I also just wanted to settle down and catch up on two years of my life that seemed lost. I also thought that many returning veterans felt as I did and that they also wanted to forget that past year of hell. I remember wanting to meet some of the hippy bastards that were spitting on uniforms and looked forward to that confrontation at the Port of Authority station in New York. Remembering how much it hurt to see those bastards waving the flag of the Viet Cong in Life Magazine at the 1968 Democratic National Convention in Chicago. I really wanted to extract a price from those assholes. That was not to happen as my folks drove from Cornwall, NY to pick me up at Ft. Dix, NJ over my protestations.
As the years passed, thoughts of RVN never faded from my mind. The sheer terror of being ambushed; the stress of being out in Indian Territory with just 4 other men; the life altering effects of combat and the memory of guys who died fighting for each other. I would get very angry around anniversary dates and not really know why. I had stayed in contact with my Platoon Sgt, Greg Nizialek, who lived in Buffalo, NY. I ended up graduating from College in Buffalo and settling down. It was there that a very strange set of circumstances occurred that would send me back to Viet Nam in March of 1996.
Greg, who remained in the National Guard, and I would talk on occasion about what he heard from whom and what happened to guys from the unit. One time he and his lovely wife Shirley came over for dinner and he brought a ton of photographs and we discussed the good times and bad. He was particularly concerned about what Ken Lancasters mother knew and what the Army told her. Ken was a member of our unit who had been attending the MACV Recondo School at Nha Trang when he fell from the skid of a helicopter at over a 1,000 foot altitude. He was listed as MIA but all of the team members felt that he had been killed instantly. Our discussion centered on what his Mother knew or did not know. We had this discussion a number of times over the years and I had gotten involved with the formation of a VVA Chapter in Springville, NY. I put it into the back of my mind to try to contact her but it was not my number 1 item to do on my list.
In, I believe it was 1986 or maybe 1987, I went to the VVA National Convention in Washington, DC on behalf of our chapter. I also wanted to see the wall and get some etchings off the wall of men I knew. While there I was able to make a contact with one of the officers of the MIA/POW league of families and she told me she would check their data base to see if Mrs. Lancaster was listed. The next day she told me that she was and I was to write a letter to her, place it in a stamped, non-sealed envelope. Then send the unsealed letter to their attention and they would forward it on. A few days after arriving home I did so. In a short time I received a phone call from Mrs. Lancaster that went on for hours. In short, I promised her that I would try to find out information on Kenny if I ever went back to RVN. I knew that was a long shot but maybe someday.
As the VVA Chapter President I was amazed at the number of different magazines and newsletters that we received. I made an effort to go thru each one in search of anything that would lead me to former comrades. That need to reconnect was burning up inside me until the day I saw an ad in one of the newsletters that call for former LRRP/LRP/Rangers to join an organization called the 75th Ranger Regiment Inc. I had heard that our LRP Company had become a Ranger unit shortly after I left but I never had any proof. The ad had been placed by Al Bartz of Avon, NY in early 1989. I immediately called his phone number and spoke to a guy who was as excited to hear from someone he never knew as I was to find a kindred spirit. He told me about the organization that he placed the ad for and spoke of their first reunion the year before in Georgia. He let me know that the 9th Infantry Division had some fellows there and had the name of the unit director, Mike Patrick. I immediately sent out as much information about my service in the company along with the application and dues. A few weeks latter I got my membership card in the mail. Wow, what a feeling that I maybe able to reconnect with old friends thru this organization. Al Bartz died a few months latter but I was very thankful that he had placed that ad.
During 1989 and 1990 I tried to find as many members of the unit that I could but success was fair. I wanted to attend the 1990 Reunion in Colorado but I just was not ready for that yet. I did manage to locate Tony Hanlon in PA and had a great meeting with him. My request for a list of members of the unit was knocked down by the President of the Association, Bob Gilbert. I knew that the only way we could start to locate people would be to get copies of orders along with the list maintained by the Association. In early 1992 I received phone calls from Rick Ehrler, Ralph Harter and Bruce Sartwell about the coming reunion at Ft Benning. I had mixed emotions about going to that reunion; what nightmares might surface; did I really want to open that chapter of my life again? After all I had been very successful in life, graduate degree; well respected in my job; head of two separate veterans organizations; Vice President of the Niagara Frontier VietNam Veterans Leadership Council; elected to the local school board and elected to the position of Vice President of the Board. Yet it was very difficult to take that first step. After prodding from the three above I made a commitment to go. I had been in contact with Greg Nizalek and he also was going. It was time to take that first step.
As the date for the reunion grew closer my anxiety grew more intense. My wife encouraged me to make the trip. I kept finding excuses not to go, but when the tickets arrived I knew that I had to go. The night before the trip I could not sleep. Memories of Viet Nam were swirling in my head Thoughts of guys that were killed while I was there came flooding into my mind. I also knew that if they were still alive they would make the trip. It occurred to me that all I had accomplished in life I did with their memory pushing me on. I caught the plane to Atlanta and then a commuter plane to Columbus. On the small commuter plane I sat next to a young lady who was traveling to see her fianc'e who was completing Ranger school. When our small plane caught the wake of a much larger plane and dropped a few hundred feet like a stone she grabbed my arm with a grip that I had no idea such a small lady could produce. All I could do was chuckle; it was like a thrill ride. Her comments about the saneness of all Rangers were not very nice.
Greeting me at the airport were Ralph Harter and Rick Ehrler, a couple of the guys I remembered well. It was an incredible feeling to be reunited with those guys, a bit older than I remembered, but still good. We sat and talked for a while waiting for Bruce Sartwell to show up. I had heard that Bruce lost all of his Vietnam photos, beret and other memorabilia in a nasty divorce, so I had brought from my home a brand new, made in RVN, beret. I had two made after I lost my first one and never had to wear the second one, so I figured that Bruce needed it more than I did. Bruce arrived and did not look much older than he did in RVN. The talk and excitement was incredible and I felt more relaxed than anytime since I left RVN. We pilled into Ralph's car and headed to the Columbus Hilton, the site of the reunion. We checked in and they had lost my reservation but Rick said I could room with him until they had a room for me the next day. We put our gear away and decided to meet for a drink and to talk about old times.
Bruce did not drink and Rick, Ralph and I had very little, but we all came to the conclusion that we had to get the roster of our company in order to find old friends. Bruce volunteered to run for unit director and thus the die was cast. Our old first shirt, Roy Nelson was running for President of the organization and we would contact him latter. Latter that night we all got together to go to dinner and Ralph brought along his significant other, Sylvia. How Ralph hooked up with this very beautiful southern belle was the question of the evening. After we headed back to our rooms Rick and I talked late into the night. Damn, it was good to be with old friends again. While we had not seen each other in over 24 years it seemed like only yesterday. Hopefully others would feel the same way when we would have our first company wide reunion.
Ralph knocked hard on the door and was ready for breakfast at O'Dark thirty and I had just gotten up. We were anxious to get over to Fort Benning and check out the post and some of the sites around there. It was the 50th Anniversary of the Rangers and there was plenty to do. We had a great time going all over the post and meeting some modern day Rangers. We also viewed where the Ranger Memorial was going to be built. The ground breaking was scheduled for the next afternoon with the Secretary of the Army in attendance. Then we found 'Ranger Joes', a store that had all kinds of military surplus. We found all sorts of goodies there and Ralph really made a haul as did Bruce. We all bought t-shirts and had our unit designation printed on the back for the parade the next day. We all agreed to walk and not march, as our marching days were over. We headed back to the hotel for lunch and laughter filled the car, with all taking hits on each other.
After a lunch we went to the hospitality room and met up with some others and a number of WW II Rangers. We hooked up with Mike Patrick, Top, Woodrow, Nizalek and agreed that we would attend the business meeting the next day and meet for lunch to determine how to proceed to find others. But, on that day the ranges were open for us old farts to partake of some of the new firepower these guys had. We all headed to Ralph's car and went back to Ft Benning to do some good old stress relief by burning off as much ammo as we could. The young Rangers were at each station on the firing line. I sighted a M-60 that was down located in a trench line that had all sorts of nice support and those old man sized silhouettes down range. Rick really wanted to feel the kick of the 60 again and He and I got in line to fire off. Rick is blind and he just wanted to burn off a few rounds for the feel. I took his cane as we got closer and held it behind my back. I guided him with hand pressure and whispers as he got behind the gun. It was then that I mentioned to the young ranger that Rick was blind and pulled his cane out. The young Ranger asked how he would hit the target and I gave him the cane and instructed him to go down range and tap on the target. While Rick and I got a kick out of his response as he looked at us like he thought we were not kidding. Rick had the weapon shouldered and ready to rock and roll. I told Rick I'd adjust his fire from where I was but, I'm not kidding, he hit the target with the first burst. Incredible, was it luck or fate? The young Ranger could not believe it and the guys on the line gave a cheer out for Rick We laughed all the way out of the trench and back to the car. That was it for target practice that day as we did not want to press our luck. The rest of that day we spent hitting Ranger Joe's again and then just talking about all the activity to happen the next day.
First thing up on Saturday was a business meeting and Roy Nelson was running for President of the Association. We had all agreed earlier that Bruce Sartwell would nominate Roy. The business meeting went well and Roy Nelson was elected President of the 75th Ranger Regiment Association Inc. The first of three unit members to serve in this office. Roy invited the members of the unit to lunch and to discuss what we could do to affect a reunion of the company. We discussed many different ideas and ways that we could get a reunion started. Bruce Sartwell was a private detective and had sources; Rick Ehrler had various search devices in his computer and was a computer genius, having learned computer programming, one had access to a national data base of social security numbers. The individual doing that search did it at his own peril of getting into serious trouble at his job and for that reason his name has never been revealed. The vast majority of members were located that way. We knew that we would need to locate old orders that had the social security numbers on them. As we went around the table we found that all of us had a talent that could help us find others. We went thru the unit roster like it was a treasure map finding new and old addresses. That document would be the foundation from which we built our old unit up again. A decision was made to go full throttle and hold the 1st reunion in Baltimore, MD. Part of that decision was due to the closeness of the Viet Nam Memorial, something that all wanted to visit.
The year seemed to flyby. We had done well in locating many of the guys and contacting them by phone to set up this reunion. Bruce Sartwell put his money where his mouth was and contracted for a hotel and meeting room by putting it all on a credit card. He really got nervous towards the actual date in hoping that he would not lose money. During those phone calls I assured him that this was to be a success and I thought better you than me pal. Somehow I knew that we would be successful. It was exciting as the days grew closer to the day of the reunion. The names of old friends came in as a promise to attend the reunion. Besides finding guys we had been gifted with some items that could be sold to raise a unit fund and get our selves ready for the next reunion. A friend of Ralph bought a gross of coffee cups and mugs with our unit scrolls on them. We sold them to fund future newsletters and reunions. It was incredible the excitement of this 1 year mission to reunite was happening. Still the anxiety of 'are we opening a can of worms' was there. Would it be a success or not?
As the day of the first reunion drew close Bruce Sartwell came up with a brilliant idea. When we visit the Wall we should leave a plaque there listing our fallen comrades and the fact that they were not forgotten. It was decided that we should have two so that one could travel to all the reunions thereafter if we were to still have them. We hoped it would become a tradition that would carry on that special bond that we had with each other. I had a friend who had a trophy business and had been a marine in Viet Nam and would do them at cost. Thus with the names we had we created two plaques: One for the wall and one to continue the spirit of our bonds.
I do not remember the trip down to Baltimore but I do remember the emotions running deep. We had taken our motor home down to Baltimore and I just do not remember the trip. When we arrived I remember checking in at the desk and seeing some old familiar faces. How could these guys look so old? I hadn't aged a day in my mind. It was a shock to see so many faces that played such an important time in my life. Shared experiences came rushing at us like flood waters and engulfed us with such joy and sorrow that it was difficult to even breath. We had such deep bonds that no one could describe or understand unless they had been there. It was the start of a great reunion.
I remember seeing guys for the first time in 30 years and guys approaching the hospitality room with hesitation in their eyes. Wondering what kind of a welcome they would get, wondering if any demons from that war would resurface. And to see those concerns melt with smiles and laughter. Damn they were some fine men, and still are. We went to the inner harbor of Baltimore that had been rebuilt and was now prime real estate. Had a great time there and found that the sense of humor was alive and well. While touring the USS Constitution I was surprise to find out that the cannons were not real and made out of foam. I pointed it out to the wife of one of my closest friends. A couple of real cannons were at the entrance and her husband had tried to lift one. When his wife lifted one in the ship with one hand he was dumbfounded. Naturally this brought up who wore the pants in that family. Funny incidents that happened in Viet Nam came up from time to time and it was great to find out what other guys thoughts on those incidents were. No one wanted to tell war stories and the time was one of both elation and sadness.
All good times have to end sooner or later as it was with the reunion. We had a great dinner dance the night before we were to leave. Our last act would be to visit the Wall in DC. We had a business meeting on Saturday morning and it was decided we would meet in Las Vegas in two years. A plea was made for all to submit orders that had the Social Security numbers on them so we could continue to find members.
We caravanned to the wall led by Mike Kentes. Mike worked there and was very familiar with the area. We arrived at the wall and set the plaque. Guys were checking for names and it was a time we did not want to end. We managed to get the park police to allow us on the grass area for photos with the wall in the background. As we prepared to leave, the guys who worked so hard on getting it going (Barley, Harter, Sartwell, Ehler, Nizalek, Nelson,) agreed that it was a success. Mission accomplished. What was started back in 1992 has continued to grow and prosper with each reunion. A great feeling.